Why Can't We Just Get Along?

Why can't we just get along? All around us we see the signs of intolerance. In Northern Ireland, religious intolerance has led to a long history of strife between Catholics and Protestants. In Western Africa, racial intolerance has led to tribes that have been killing each other for hundreds of years. In the nations of the Horn of Africa – Ethiopia, Somalia and the Sudan – ethnic cleansing are still leaving thousands dead. In Iraq and Lebanon and the Gaza Strip, Sunni and Shia militias are killing each other every day.

In our own country, there are plenty of signs of intolerance. We can point to signs that we are overcoming the evils of racial prejudice, but our inner cities and schools are still starkly segregated as minorities struggle to overcome the traps of poverty and crime. Our political debates often descend into shouting matches, or “shock jocks” spewing hatred, whether it be Abortion, public health care, conservative vs liberal or the growing anti-war protests.

Amid the din of the screaming and yelling people call for tolerance. “Why can't we just get along?” “Live and let live!” Can't we just put our differences behind us and live together?

What is tolerance really? It is the act of ignoring our differences in order to accomplish another goal. Often that goal is simply peaceful coexistence. At other times, it might be an economic goal. We may overlook (tolerate) the inhumane working conditions imposed by a trading partner, if that partner will provide with cheaper goods and services than we can obtain from someone of higher ethical standards. We imagine that, if we would just be tolerant, then we could live with each other in wonderful peace. After all, no two human beings look at the world through exactly the same set of eyes. Marriage is a prime example of the need for tolerance. Does it really make that much difference if the toothpaste is squeezed from the end or in the middle, or if the toilet paper roll comes over the front or down the back?

However, there are times when the differences are just too big to ignore. Perhaps the most obvious example of the failure of tolerance and was that shown by the governments of Britain, France and Italy in the Munich Agreement of September 1938. Rather than recognizing Hitler and the threat he posed, the leaders of the day decided to tolerate his actions as he began to re-arm Germany, if only he would promise to be nice. When Germany invaded Czechoslovakia, the British Prime Minister Chamberlain was still not prepared to take the country to war over “..a quarrel in a far-away country between people of whom we know nothing.” As a result, Hitler drove all of Europe, and ultimately much of the rest of the world into the horrors of World War II.

I remember a time when drunk driving was tolerated by our culture. Sure, people knew it was “wrong”, but for the most part, people treated it as a joke. Then, along came Mothers Against Drunk Drivers. They were MADD, and they were no longer going to tolerate the slaughter of their children! Between MADD and other organizations like that, they shook up our nation, and changed fundamental attitudes in our culture about drinking and driving.

We can think of Civil Rights leaders throughout our own history – heroes who would not stand by and tolerate the evils of prejudice and segregation, risking their lives to fight for justice and equality. Martin Luther King was not a “tolerant” man. Rosa Parks decided she would no longer tolerate being told to go to the back of the bus, and almost ignited a war, but in the end, her action proved to be a turning point for an entire nation.

There are some evils that we cannot turn our backs on and pretend they do not exist. If it's just the toothpaste, then the value of harmonious living far outweighs the value of having the tube squeezed the “right” way. In other cases, it is simply the realization that beating someone over the head is often counterproductive, and more can be accomplished by reasonable discussion. The Crusades were a short victory, but ultimately accomplished few lasting results, other than creating a deep seated hatred between Eastern and Western cultures. However, there are still things worth believing in, and even fighting for.

The reason why intolerance causes so much of a problem in society is that it usually degrades first of all into a “Us vs. Them” attitude, and from there into a hatred of those who are different from us, or those who have different purposes and priorities than we do. Intolerance is often based on ignorance.

If tolerance in itself is not the answer then, what is?

The first thing we must do is determine in our own minds what is important to us, and what isn't. What we stand for, and why? We must understand though, that almost all issues are complex, and do not lend themselves to simple black and white solutions.

But then, once we know what we really believe in, we still need to hold on to the basic dignity of each human being, even when they disagree with us on those important things. In part, it is a matter of respect. If I believe something, then I must, by definition, believe that I am correct. However, we must understand though, that the issues we struggle with are complex, and do not lend themselves to simple black and white solutions. I must also realize that I don't know all the answers, that I don't even know all the facts, and I could be wrong. Even if I'm not wrong, there is still an opportunity to learn from that other person.

For example, I call myself a Christian. I believe in the literal life and work of the man Jesus Christ, and the factual accuracy of the Bible. This is a belief that I would die for. However, that doesn't mean I cannot tolerate the presence of other religions. This country was based on the concept of religious freedom, not because the founders thought that religion was not important, but because they believed in the basic dignity of the individual, that truth is not found through intimidation, threats or coercion, and that each man and woman must seek this truth on his or her own.

There is an old proverb, attributed to Native American tradition, that you should never judge a man until you have traveled a mile in his moccasins. Many raging arguments would take on a decidedly more peaceful tone if the two sides would take a moment to look at the issue from the other person's perspective. It is an interesting exercise to try to debate a topic... from the other person's point of view. It forces you to look through the other person's eyes. It might not be enough to make you change your mind, but it can give you a respect for where the other person is coming from.

There are so many things which make us different as individuals. In many cases, we can learn to appreciate and enjoy those differences, though sometimes we may have to learn to just ignore them in order to be able to live and work together. In some cases though, the differences will be significant, and cannot be glossed over. However, even in these cases, we can still learn to respect one another. If we take the time to overcome ignorance, and try to understand the issues from the other person's perspective, then even in our struggles for the truth, we can learn from each other, and all be wiser for the experience.

A Tribute - AmyElizabeth

Yesterday, we had a going away lunch for a member of our software team at Xerox. AmyElizabeth had been with the group for around four years, but she wasn't able to dodge the latest expense cutting measure. :-(

The group asked me to "say a few words", so I dug through some of the many pleasant memories I had of the time AmyElizabeth was on the team. I thought it would be good to write the speech down while it was relatively fresh in my memory. On further reflection, I've added a couple more comments here in addition to what I actually said.

Oh, fair warning is that there are plenty of inside jokes, as one would expect from such a tribute....
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How many of you have read the book, "Peopleware" by Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister? I still consider that to be my favorite book on Software Development, or on almost any other topic. Rather than focus on the technological aspects of software projects and why the succeed or fail, they looked into the personal dynamics of writing software. What aspects of a development team make one succeed and another one flop?

One of the core concepts that DeMarco and Lister introduced was the idea of a "gelled team". More than just a group of people on a project, a gelled team is knit together as a single entity with a common goal. The success of the individual is tied to the success of the team. If you succeed, then I succeed. There is no challenge too great, no mountain too tall to climb. Nothing can stop a gelled team.

Now, many managers try to build "teams". They stage "team building events" until they are blue in the face, but until the team itself takes ownership of the bonding, nothing happens. The team is gelled by the actions of the members, and the bonds that they develop themselves. The best managers recognize the kind of people who tend to create gelled teams, and cultivate them.

Now, we have a lot of really good people here in this team, from top notch engineers, to "Big Picture" software architects, to managers who "get it", but we've also had something else. We've had a magic ingredient.

Now, it's not altogether clear what it was that AmyElizabeth did to create this magic. Maybe it was the vending machine birthday cakes that she always remembered, or the hair drier in the morning (when the power went out). It could have been convincing Wayne that that it really was his 50th birthday, or sending out three separate "meeting" invites to convince two different people that the get together was a surprise party for the other guy, when it really was for both of them together. Maybe it was, "I need penguins... I need lots of penguins," (all 756 of them). I'm sure the Zero Year cakes (complete with gummi-worms) had something to do with it, along with delivering 50 birthday balloons one at a time. Then, there were the sushi outings, the Pink Flamingo divas, and the Real Chet Yoder. I'm sure that walks around the buildings went a long way in helping us keep our sanity.

I'm sure AmyElizabeth has been accused of many tricks and "decorations" for which she was not responsible for, but then there are a few that I know of that were never figured out. However, it's not surprising that she developed a reputation for being behind most "disturbances" in the group. Any time there was something going on, be it in a hallway or at the Summer Picnic, chances were good that you'd find AmyElizabeth in the middle of it.

Now, most groups have a practical joker, but AmyElizabeth's teasing always had a different feel to it. Many practical jokes are meant to embarrass the victim, or there is a subtle put-down hidden in the laughter, leaving people feeling smaller. However, with AmyElizabeth, you were always left with the feeling that people were laughing with you, not at you. It was to draw people together, to let every individual know that he or she was noticed, important, a part of the family. It was important to remember and celebrate your birthday, even if she had to make a cake out of vending machine cupcakes or animal crackers. Creativity was a key, as was doing the unexpected. These were the kinds of attitudes that brought us together and made the team jell.

AmyElizabeth, now you are heading off to something new and different. I don't claim to understand the whys and wherefores, and I must say that the timing of this is change is uncomfortable to say the least, but I am confident that God has wonderful things in store for you out there in the future. Know for sure that you leave this group with our fondest memories of the time you have spent with us, and with our earnest hope for your bright future. Go with our blessings, and with the certainty that you still have a lot of friends back here to keep in touch with.

God bless you AmyElizabeth. We will sorely miss you.

Time to Come Together

I've often noticed that it's at times like funerals and workplace going away lunches that we finally take the time to get together with friends and family -- people whom we've often not seen for years. I used to think that was a pretty sad commentary on humanity, and the way-too-busy lives we lead, but I don't know if that's really true. If you think about it, those are the times when we've lost someone (even if it's just the relatively short term loss of not seeing someone on a day to day basis of a working relationship), and we are reminded of just how much we are dependent on each other. We are lonely, and we come closer to comfort each other.

It's times like these that we are reminded that we should take a moment to slow down and think about our friends and family. The world rushes by so fast, and before we know it, some situation or circumstance moves us apart. Maybe it's our children graduating or getting married and moving away. Maybe it's a friend passing on, or a good friend getting laid off at work, or making a change in their career path. They're here, and then in the blink of an eye, they're gone. Maybe it's not a permanent separation, but it's not the same as it was before. Don't let it catch you with regrets.

Faith, Power and God's Design

Perhaps the most profound difference between the life of the flesh – that life which we knew before the Spirit of God entered into our hearts – and the life which we experience in Christ is the role of Faith in how we see the world around us. Before, everything we did, everything we trusted in, every motivation was centered on ourselves and our belief in our own power to control our destiny. If we wanted to be successful, it had to be by our own strength and intelligence. Everything we learned about the world around us was through our own eyes and ears and powers of observation. We defined "success" on our own terms. As a result, we became slaves to the Powers of this world, namely sin, Satan and finally, to death.

When we become a child of God, everything changes. Rather than trying to occupy the center of our existence with our own feeble will, we give that position to Christ. Though we hardly understand the implications at first, we put our faith in Christ, to do with our lives according to His design. In exchange, He releases His transforming Power in our lives. Through faith, rather than rebelling against His direction as we have done since the time of Adam and Eve, we have the power to work in concert with Christ. By the power of Christ, we overcome sin, the flesh and the power of Satan in our lives.

As we grow in our knowledge of Christ, it is vitally important that we understand how He works to accomplish His design and purpose in our lives. Recently, we have seen an unbalanced focus on the power that God has given to us to miraculously overcome trials and tribulations in our lives, in particular in the visible aspects of physical and emotional healing, relationships with others and finances, without trying to understand the purpose that God may be trying to work in us. The central focus of this teaching is that, if we have problems, then it is always God's will that we have more Faith, that we pray against Satan and that we be miraculously delivered.

The underlying logic in this belief follows along these lines:

1. We are God's children, and He desires to give us good things.
2. Satan is God's enemy and our enemy.
3. Problems are the result of Satan attacking God by attacking us.
4. God wants us to defeat Satan.
5. If we have enough Faith, and demonstrate that faith by praying hard enough and long enough, then God will deliver us from Satan's attacks and our problems will go away.

The belief is that, if we are experiencing hardships, then they must be a sign of Satan's attacks. It is certainly not a failing on the part of God, or His Power to deliver us, so therefore, it must be a failing on our part to either fast and pray long enough or to have enough faith. Alternatively, if we really do have enough faith, and are praying fervently, and we still don't see the manifestation of God's miraculous healing, then we must actually be healed, and we just don't see the manifestation of that healing yet.

One argument given to support this belief is the verse in Matthew 4:24, where word spread through the region of Syria about Jesus healing, “and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and he healed them."¹ Another verse is then quoted that Jesus is, "the same yesterday, today and forever." The conclusion then is, since Jesus apparently healed all the people in that one place, and He never changes, then He must necessarily wish to heal all diseases all the time. Unfortunately, the logic here simply doesn't hold, since there many other instances in the Gospels where Jesus heals "many" people, but no mention is made of "all" people. In fact, in the instance of the healing of the invalid at the pool at Bethesda², He would most likely have stepped over many others there laying by the pool – others who had no more or less faith than the man Jesus singled out. The man didn't even know who Jesus was, and his faith was only in the story of the angel who was said to "trouble the waters." Yet, Jesus chose in His sovereignty to heal the man.

We have in our minds an idea of how we define success. The pastor wants a large church with a thriving ministry. The evangelist wants to see many people coming forward in his crusades. The businessman wants to have a growing business so that he can give generously to the church. Parents want to see their children happy and successful. The goals we have may be lofty, but they are all based on externally measured goals that we can see. When God doesn't conform to our definition of success, we fret and run around, trying to figure out what has gone wrong – why God isn't following our plan.

It is clear from Scripture that we cannot approach God without faith. In Matthew 17:20, Jesus instructs us that, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." The difficulty with the belief that it is always God's will for us to be healthy and wealthy, and that any deviation from that will is merely a sign of our own lack of faith, is that it supplants the Sovereignty of God with our own interpretation of the situation we are in, and how we think God should act. In particular, it ignores two other fundamental sources of difficulties and stresses in our lives.

The first source of problems in our lives is our own fleshly nature. In Romans 7:28, Paul bemoans the fact that he struggles with his old nature. "So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me." This is not a question of forgiveness or "punishment" for the things we have done wrong. The Blood of Jesus covers our sin, but that does not mean we no longer suffer some of the short term consequences of our behavior. When there is un-confessed sin in our life, God allows difficulties to lead us back to him.

Sin comes in many shapes and sizes. It may be in remorseless breaking of the Ten Commandments – adultery, stealing, murder – or in an infinite number of more insidious sins. If I am harboring a bad attitude toward my neighbor, then I will have a difficult time sharing the Gospel with him. If I am so caught up in materialism and the things of this world that I am not paying attention to my family, then my children will be wild. If I am cultivating a root of bitterness in my heart over wrongs I have suffered in the past, then my body will likely be racked with a host of physical ailments. If, in response, we focus on the symptom (the sickness) and try to buck up our faith, rebuke Satan and cast out the sickness, Satan will simply laugh in our face. It's as if we lock and bar the front door on our house to keep out burglars, while the back door is swinging in the breeze and all the windows are standing open. James tells the church that, "If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless."

Regardless of whether we consider the sin large or small, it is still disobedience in the face of God's direction. I believe that many financial problems that we see in the Church are caused by Christians skimping on their giving, or in some other way, putting their confidence in their own ability to provide for material needs. Materialism still stands as one of the greatest sins of the entire Church in America. Again, in James, the apostle tells us, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."³

The danger here is to think that, any time we are suffering, it must be because we have done something wrong, or that God is punishing us. Once again, God does not bring down punishment on our heads because Jesus has already born the effect of this judgment. He is no ogre sitting up in heaven, cackling in glee, waiting for us to slip up so He can throw a lightning bolt at us. There is no sin for which we have not already been forgiven. Rather, God uses the fires of trial to purge us of that which is defiled, incomplete or defective. His goal is the perfection of his bride, the church, and as members of that bride, we are to be perfect. God knows our weakness, and while He has no patience with sin, He has infinite patience with us, and chastens us as a father chastens his children.

This leads to the second clear source of trials and difficulties that we experience in our lives – namely the Hand of God, molding us as one would mold clay, into a vessel for His own purpose and glory. The clearest example of this is the statement of the Apostle Paul where he recounts a time when he prayed that God would deliver him from a "thorn in the flesh"⁴. Paul leaves the reference vague, leading to endless speculation on our part as to that exactly the thorn was. There is certainly the possibility that was a physical (in the "flesh") ailment, such as poor eyesight. Others guess that it was the persecution of the Judaizers that constantly hounded Paul through his ministry, trying to destroy his work and corrupt the churches that he planted. It is likely that he intentionally left the exact character of the thorn vague because wanted to communicate a principle rather than limit us to a specific example. In either case, it was a problem that Paul fervently prayed for deliverance from. It says he prayed "three times", but I'm sure it was more than three short prayers before he tucked in for the night. His belief was that this thorn was impeding his ability to minister, and therefore, God must surely want to deliver him! Why would God intentionally weaken him? These were intense times of prayer, where he exercised his faith in every way he knew how, seeking the face of the Lord. In response, the Lord spoke directly to Paul, telling him that He would not deliver Paul from this thorn. However, the reason was not due to any failing on Paul's part, either in sin in his life or in some lack of faith. Rather the Lord said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." As a result, Paul decided that he could boast in his weakness, that the power of God was more completely shown when he was weak.

God's sovereignty is so infinitely greater than anything we can say or imagine! His plan for us is that we see nothing around us save Him and His Glory. In Matthew 8:28, Jesus rebuked the disciples not because they hadn't calmed the storm on their own, but because they did not have the peace to sleep through it like He had.

There are several reasons why this mistaken belief that it is always God's will that we be perfectly whole has resurfaced time and again throughout the recent history of the Church. One source of this belief is the confusion between God's ability and His desire. The thinking is that, if I am not praying for deliverance from my problems, then it must be because I do not believe that God is able to deliver me. Conversely, if I believe that God is in fact powerful enough to be able to heal me, then I must believe that it is God's Will, and that I will be healed if I have enough faith. Hence, the statement that, if we don't think that God will miraculously heal us, then we don't really believe in God. The logical conclusion of this belief is that Paul, since he stated clearly that he believed that he would not be delivered from his thorn in the flesh, that he must not actually have believed in God.

If we hold to this unbalanced view of the power of our faith to bring about God's healing and deliverance in our lives, we will end up falling into a host of other spiritual tar pits. The first consequence is that it sets our hearts and desires on the Gifts of God, rather than on God Himself. Rather than seeing how He wants to work in our weakness, we set our sights on a vision of perfection that we have created ourselves. The center of our focus moves inward, on seeing God's POWER in our own lives, meeting our needs, rather than on God's ability to show His power in my weakness. Our attitude becomes that God has promised the riches of the kingdom to me, so I will not rest until I experience those riches. Meanwhile, the rest of the world around us withers in sickness and poverty, sin and death, but our eyes are focused on the glitter of reaching what we think is God's abundant life for ourselves.

Another, perhaps surprising consequence of forcing God into the position where He desires to bring physical healing all the time is that, suddenly, our healing depends on us rather than God. If it is God's will that I be healed all the time, as long as I have enough Faith, then if I am not healed, then it must be because I don't have enough faith. Rather than focusing on God and His will, the focus is on my praying enough, or fasting enough, or "marinating in the Spirit" (a fall-back to the meditation rituals of Eastern religions), and bucking up enough Faith to be healed.

Perhaps the most insidious and dangerous consequence is that the unbalanced focus on Miraculous Power given to Christians to overcome physical problems in their lives leads to the false impression that the lack of visible problems must be a clear indication of God's Blessing and Pleasure. If I'm healthy and wealthy, then I must be in God's Will, and everything is great in my life. God's will is that I be healthy, so if I am healthy, I must be in God's will. This is an open invitation to Satan to lead us down the primrose lined path to destruction.

To pray for miracles, we need to understand God's purpose in miracles. It has been observed by some that, the places where we see the greatest miracles taking place are where the Gospel is going out to the unsaved. It is often in foreign missions, where the saints are beating back the wall of spiritual darkness around them, that God shows His greatest power. This follows the pattern of Scripture where, when Jesus sent out the disciples two by two to proclaim the coming of the Kingdom of Heaven, He promised that they would exercise great power over Satan. The purpose of that power is to point to Jesus and His Kingdom.

Clearly, our enemy is Satan, and he is doing all that he can to keep us from experiencing the real power of God in our lives. However, he has an able accomplice in our own carnal nature and its fleshly desires. Our tendency is to love God and follow Him because He gives us good things. God wants us to follow Him even when we don't see the good things. As Oswald Chambers said, "the ordinary view of prayer is not found in the New Testament. We look upon prayer (or for that matter, faith) as a means of getting things for ourselves; the Bible idea of prayer is that we may get to know God Himself."⁵ That knowledge of God is the true source of POWER in our lives, and an open channel for God to work His purpose through us.

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
"Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay him?"
For from him and through him and to him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.⁶

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1Quotations taken from the New International Version.

2John 5

3James 5:16

4II Corinthians 12:7-10

5“My Utmost for His Highest” - Aug 28

6Romans 11:33-36